Pivotal Choices Coaching

The Practice of Gratitude Can Make You Healthier—Hear Author Explain How

The new book Thanks!  How the new science of gratitude can make you happier has brought gratitude to the public consciousness.

For ages, gratitude has been so much a part of most cultures that the interest that this book has generated is quite amazing.   

It has been reviewed in many, many newspapers and referred to by columnists. Interviews with the author, Robert A. Emmons, have been published in several places.

What makes the book intriguing is that, based on extensive studies, author Robert A. Emmons shows that if we practice gratitude, we can actually become healthier!

The practice of gratitude can improve our physical health and also our mental health.  It can help us eliminate feelings of resentment and hatred.

Robert A. Emmons is well-known as a serious researcher and psychologist..  Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Davis, he has published close to 100 articles in peer-reviewed journals.
   
You can hear Professor Emmons live Friday, Dec. 14 from 4:00 - 5:20 pm Eastern Time at a free teleconference.   Register at www.mentorcoach.com, and you will be sent the telephone bridge number for the call.  You pay only your usual long-distance charges.
 
I’ll be there—hope you can come, too.

And please visit my website (www.nwcoaching.com) to sign up for my newsletter.  As a sign-up bonus, you’ll receive a really great gift--something that you can use.
 
See you at the Gratitude interview!

Until next time,
Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com

Choosing to View Life through a Lens of Gratitude

I’ve always thought that I knew a lot about gratitude. Gratitude is one of my top five signature strengths.  I routinely send thank you notes for presents, and I feel grateful for what I have and for what I have accomplished in my life.

What else is there to know?

But a few nights ago I listened to a teleconference about gratitude, given by Deb Levy, an educator and a teaching assistant to Tal Ben-Shahar at Harvard.  Deb’s talk started me thinking how gratitude could play an even larger role in my life. 

Since the teleconference I have read more on the emerging research on gratitude and am amazed at the role gratitude can play in changing people’s lives.

What I have read tells me that gratitude is a choice.  And it’s not always easy to choose gratitude.  It demands that we acknowledge the gifts from others. That we view life through a lens of gratitude.

It’s easy to be grateful for the food we eat and the sun that shines, but to view life through gratitude means that being grateful replaces the feeling that we deserve all that life can give us. It replaces the feeling that we have suffered for everything that we’ve achieved. Or that we’re still a victim of some kind.

What choosing gratitude means is that we see ourselves as incomplete and in need of the help others have given us. 

So even though the number of people around my dining room table will be smaller than the number of guests my grandmother would have had at her Thanksgiving table when I was a child, I can choose a to be part of a very large community.

This Thanksgiving Day I will thank my husband and my children for all they have given me.  I am gladly and gratefully dependent upon them.

And I will thank the members of that community that I see in my mind’s eye for all of the gifts I have received—that community includes people from long ago in my life as well as people that I saw Friday at the office.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com

How to Act like an Extrovert and Put Yourself Out There; or, Business Calls Can Lead to Happiness

Are you paralyzed at the thought of making a call to market your services or to ask something of another person?

How about calling a contact, someone you’ve met at some point? 

Or do you do whatever you can to avoid all marketing calls?

I’m an introvert, and in the past I would rather do about anything than make a call. 

When I was training to be a coach, I was told to make cold calls to market my services.

The trainer told our class that the individual goal for each of us was to get x number (say 5) of “no” responses.

The assignment was just to make the call and had nothing to do with outcome.  That made the process easier. 

Positive Psychologist researcher Chris Peterson tells us that extroverted people are happier than introverted people.

Introverted people should be asked to do extroverted things. 

What this means for you is
     •   If you are asked to make calls, then you should find a way to do that.
     •   Ask the same of yourself.
     •   In a nutshell -- Ask yourself to do extroverted things.

Even if making calls is difficult for you, once you have done this extroverted task of reaching out to others, you will be glad that you did it.

See if this approach works for you:
1.  Take the pressure off—you’re not invested in outcomes.  Tell yourself that your goal is to receive 5 “no” responses to your marketing calls.
2.  Then ask yourself 2 questions
     a. “What does this person need?”
     b. “What do I have to offer that will solve a problem for this person?”
3.  Write a script for yourself.
4.  Tape yourself reading your script.
5. Listen to the tape and jot down key points that you are making; add missing points.
6.  Practice talking (not reading).
7.  Make the first call no matter how nervous you feel.  No dilly-dallying.
8.  Remember that this call will bring you one call closer to your goal of 5 no’s.
If you get a yes, what a gift!  That’s the prize in the Happy Meal box.
9.  Begin every call with a smile on your face.

When you finish, take note of how satisfied you feel.

According to Chris, you’ll be just as satisfied as if you were extroverted. 

How Does Friendship Affect Workplace Productivity and Job Satisfaction?

"The antidote for 50 enemies is one friend."   
— Aristotle

While you may not feel you have 50 enemies at work, office politics being what it is, many workers feel that there is little loyalty or even honesty in their place of work. 

Having a friend at work can temper some of the competition and ill will that seem close to the surface or perhaps right out in the open in many offices. 

Positive Psychology researchers contend that one of the most important ways to improve one’s job satisfaction is by having a friend at work. 
•  Someone with whom you enjoy sharing lunch or talking to about the kids or the football game or the  3K race coming up Sunday.
•  Someone with whom you can compare prices and benefits of one gym over another.
•  Someone to whom you can reveal your less-than-complete knowledge or understanding of a product or an account or a file.

Having a friend helps to bring out the best in you.  If you feel that someone at work recognizes your worth as a person and also shares your values, you will probably feel more confident in exercising your strengths and talents. 

The more you can use your strengths, the more likely it is that you will be happy and have greater job satisfaction and greater productivity on the job.

How can friendships be encouraged within the office culture?  What changes would you suggest?

I welcome your ideas—I’d love to hear what you think.

Also, please visit my website (www.nwcoaching.com) and sign up for my free e-newsletter. 

How to Start a “Must-Have” List for Greater Job Satisfaction

If you are looking at what comes next on your career path, look back over the choices you have made in the past.  Start with the degree/major your chose in college and come forward.  Take note of the first job that you chose.  Was it in the field you studied in college?  What did you consider when you chose that job? 

As you assess the career choices you have made, what do you consider as pivotal along the way?  What were turning points?  Do you feel an aliveness as you consider any particular choice or step? 

Recently I was talking with a client about what had brought him from college through various jobs to where he is now.  As he got to the point of talking about his current job—the one he doesn’t want to keep—his energy level increased and his voice became animated. 

While this job may not be his dream job, clearly something about the current experience energizes him.

If you feel particularly alive at one point in the recounting of your career path, stay in the moment and take note of the learning that’s available there for you.

More than likely, you’ve identified a “must-have” component for your next job.

Let me know how this exercise works for you. 

I would be glad to share more tips and thoughts with you.  I invite you to visit my website at www.nwcoaching.com, and while you're there, please sign up for my newsletter.

“Not Another Day! I Can’t Take This, I Can’t Take This Anymore!”

The ad begins:  [Squawk, Squawk] “Not another day, not another day!  I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore!”

We see the parrot, and then a man opens the door, agitatedly pulling at his clothing and saying, “Not another day! I can’t take this anymore.”

Point taken—he’s been saying this so frequently that his parrot knows the refrain well.

Do you identify with the words and the frequency of repetition?

Some people who can’t take their work are bored, wanting to do something different, while others are beyond boredom.  Anger and anxiety have set in.

Because we fear making a change or believe we have no choice, we stick with the job.

If you continue to work month after month, year after year, at a job where, day in day out, you approach the work with anger or anxiety, your body will show the strain. 

Headaches, vomiting, insomnia, all are ways your body is saying Enough!

Do you dismiss the signs from your body?  Your long-term health can be damaged by chronic anger and anxiety.

If you have taught for years or been an administrator or been an executive assistant and more and more you are saying, "I can’t take this any more," then it’s time to look around.

Don’t quit your day job quite yet.  But look around. 

What is one small step you could take?  Give yourself permission today just to entertain the idea that your life could be different.