Pivotal Choices Coaching

Taking Small Steps toward Responsibility to Gain Acknowledgment

While working with my career coaching clients, I’ve heard the same words being spoken by people who are in very different settings. . . . Low-person on the totem pole. . . . .Lack of acknowledgment by the supervisor. . . .Manipulation/ emotional abuse/ unethical actions. . . .

Let me describe the situations of three people in very different settings whose experiences have striking parallels.

The three people, though in very different settings, have similar predicaments—their talents are going unrecognized. 

Jim is a young man working with a research group.  He’s finishing his dissertation and has been with the group only a few months, while the other 3 people have been in the group for some time.  Jim is bright, ambitious, and frustrated.  He doesn’t think the others on the group recognize his talents in research and writing, and furthermore he thinks the others in the group have made some mistakes that may cost the group time and perhaps prestige. 

Another of my clients, June, is a middle-aged woman who feels that she is not being acknowledged adequately in her place of work.  She works in a small company but finds that her talents are frequently ignored.  She call herself a potted plant—people look through her, never thinking of including her in any of the more interesting projects.

The 3rd person, Joy, is a thoughtful person, a good writer, and also very analytic. Her company is quite large, and the division where she works is fast-paced and demanding.  Joy recently was on sick leave, but before she took sick leave she was on the track for promotion.  Part of the reason that a promotion appeared to be in her future was because the supervisor appeared to be impressed with Joy’s work.  And Joy had a good attitude, worked hard, and made a point of being a team player, both in terms of  working well with her colleagues and also in working well with her supervisor.

When Joy took sick leave, the supervisor did not seem to realize that Joy would be out for some time and that Joy did not have a choice.  When Joy returned to the office, it appeared that the supervisor begrudged Joy the time away and was going to make her pay for being out of the office.  Joy was bowled over at the unfairness of the unexpected turn of events. 

All three people seem dismayed, but only two are disgruntled- Jim and June.  Both Jim and June seem to think that they are entitled to a higher position by virtue of their being bright.  However, neither has used their intuition or social intelligence to improve communication or to show what they could add to the group.  Both may be low person on the totem pole in their particular group, but they could make things more equal by stepping out of their isolation to communicate more, to contribute more, and to recognize the gifts of others in their group.

Joy, on the other hand, has been dealt a raw deal.  She has choices, but it appears that her supervisor is holding a grudge and Joy may be right not to trust her.  If Joy has other reasons for staying in her current position and if she can work hard and well and avoid becoming disgruntled, she may eventually win the supervisor over.  Or the supervisor may move or be removed.  Joy seems to have the strength of character to work through the difficult situation. 

What has been striking to me is that the person whose situation is truly unfair seems to be bravely rising to the occasion.  She has grace as well as courage.  She continues to look for ways to contribute to the group and does not gossip about the unfair situation she found upon returning from sick leave.

Joy needs my support, but Jim and June need to be challenged. 

I am challenging Jim and June to make small steps toward assuming more responsibility for their situations. 

Until they emerge from entitlement and do whatever needs to be done, they will remain unhappy and unfulfilled.

I have faith… Potted Plans can bloom.

If you would like to share your story with me, I’d love to hear from you..

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Small Steps Lead to Pivotal Changes

Many people seem to think that a new year heralds a fresh start.

Not necessarily.

What are you doing now that you’d like to do more of?

It doesn’t take a major change; choosing small, but important steps, lead to pivotal changes.

What is a small step you can take?  Many people would say exercise more. 

If that’s a focus you would like to increase, how much do you exercise now?  How many times a week?  What if you raised that level just one notch for the next month?

Making this pivotal choice starts with your writing it down. 

Small, incremental steps amount to big, pivotal changes.  They’re realistic and easy to maintain.

What’s the small step that you’re willing to take?  And when will you that step? Write it in your calendar.

You can do this! 

Go my website (www.nwcoaching.com) and sign up for my Smart Tips newsletter. You will get the support you need and tips that you can use.  I'll also send you a bonus gift.

Happy New Year and thanks so much for reading my Pivotal Choices Coaching blog in 2007.

If you have a goal that you would like to work toward, contact me.  I look forward to hearing from you in 2008. 

I want 2008 to be a year of productivity and greater life satisfaction for you.

Warmly,

Nancy Whichard
Your Coach for Pivotal Choices and Change
nancy@nancywhichard.com
www.nwcoaching.com

What Is the Most Important Choice You Can Make in Preparing a Presentation?

Unless you’re a natural-born extrovert or super salesperson, what comes to most people’s mind at the thought of giving a presentation is fear.

The clients I have worked with as they prepare for these events feel as if they are going to face a firing squad. 

The most important thing to remember is ….

This isn’t about you!

Of course you have to have expertise in an area and have information that you want to deliver.  You’ve brought all of that to the table. 

You have many anecdotes, factoids, helpful information to share, but all of that information has to be focused on one perspective.  And until you make the choice to shift the focus to your audience, your project will never get off the ground.

Once you make this choice, then you’re ready to get to work.

In my next posting, read about what is the most important thing that you need to know about your audience.

If you are preparing for a presentation, I’d love to hear from you.  What is the challenge you’re facing?

I have something that will be of help.  Go to www.nwcoaching.com and get a free sign-up bonus when you subscribe to my Smart Tips for Writers e-newsletter.

Until next time,
Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com

How to Explore Career Possibilities Even if You Think a Change Would Cost You Too Much

One of my clients wants to explore career options, but she’s at a loss of where to go next.  Her ideas tend toward what she’s been trained to do and what skills she has.

Tal Ben-Shahar, in his book Happier, says that before we ask “What am I good at?” we should first explore what gives us “meaning and pleasure,” that is, “What do I want to do.”

But my client is afraid to consider what she really wants to do -- dreams can be costly, she thinks.

I asked her to take stock, do some deep thinking, and take a few bold steps.. 

And boldly considering a scary area was my very first request of her:

1.  What is your secret passion, something that is almost too exciting to actually do or do more of?

2.  Without prioritizing or editing, what are other career interests/possibilities/dreams that you’ve thought about?

3.  Interview someone who has succeeded in the area that you’re passionate about.
While it might be difficult to have a face-to-face interview with someone like this, it’s easy to get an email address and shoot off a specific, succinct question.  If you get a response, send another question.

4.  Read a book by someone who has succeeded in the area that interests you and take note of specific, practical advice.

5.  Invest time (and money) in a strengths and needs assessment. 

6.  What have you learned that would refute the fears you had about entering this field?

7.  Tal Ben-Shahar says if “because of external constraints” you can’t change jobs or follow your passion, then “there is still much that a person can do to craft [that work] . . . so that it is experienced more as a calling than as a job.”  How might you re-craft your work so that it gives your more meaning or more joy? 

If you have had experience either in exploring your passion or in re-crafting your work, I’d love to hear from you.  Please share your experiences.

You can contact me through my website at www.nwcoaching.com.

I would also love to send you a copy of my free newsletter.  Sign up for my newsletter at www.nwcoaching.com.

How to Start a “Must-Have” List for Greater Job Satisfaction

If you are looking at what comes next on your career path, look back over the choices you have made in the past.  Start with the degree/major your chose in college and come forward.  Take note of the first job that you chose.  Was it in the field you studied in college?  What did you consider when you chose that job? 

As you assess the career choices you have made, what do you consider as pivotal along the way?  What were turning points?  Do you feel an aliveness as you consider any particular choice or step? 

Recently I was talking with a client about what had brought him from college through various jobs to where he is now.  As he got to the point of talking about his current job—the one he doesn’t want to keep—his energy level increased and his voice became animated. 

While this job may not be his dream job, clearly something about the current experience energizes him.

If you feel particularly alive at one point in the recounting of your career path, stay in the moment and take note of the learning that’s available there for you.

More than likely, you’ve identified a “must-have” component for your next job.

Let me know how this exercise works for you. 

I would be glad to share more tips and thoughts with you.  I invite you to visit my website at www.nwcoaching.com, and while you're there, please sign up for my newsletter.

“Not Another Day! I Can’t Take This, I Can’t Take This Anymore!”

The ad begins:  [Squawk, Squawk] “Not another day, not another day!  I can’t take this, I can’t take this anymore!”

We see the parrot, and then a man opens the door, agitatedly pulling at his clothing and saying, “Not another day! I can’t take this anymore.”

Point taken—he’s been saying this so frequently that his parrot knows the refrain well.

Do you identify with the words and the frequency of repetition?

Some people who can’t take their work are bored, wanting to do something different, while others are beyond boredom.  Anger and anxiety have set in.

Because we fear making a change or believe we have no choice, we stick with the job.

If you continue to work month after month, year after year, at a job where, day in day out, you approach the work with anger or anxiety, your body will show the strain. 

Headaches, vomiting, insomnia, all are ways your body is saying Enough!

Do you dismiss the signs from your body?  Your long-term health can be damaged by chronic anger and anxiety.

If you have taught for years or been an administrator or been an executive assistant and more and more you are saying, "I can’t take this any more," then it’s time to look around.

Don’t quit your day job quite yet.  But look around. 

What is one small step you could take?  Give yourself permission today just to entertain the idea that your life could be different.