Pivotal Choices Coaching

Taking Small Steps toward Responsibility to Gain Acknowledgment

While working with my career coaching clients, I’ve heard the same words being spoken by people who are in very different settings. . . . Low-person on the totem pole. . . . .Lack of acknowledgment by the supervisor. . . .Manipulation/ emotional abuse/ unethical actions. . . .

Let me describe the situations of three people in very different settings whose experiences have striking parallels.

The three people, though in very different settings, have similar predicaments—their talents are going unrecognized. 

Jim is a young man working with a research group.  He’s finishing his dissertation and has been with the group only a few months, while the other 3 people have been in the group for some time.  Jim is bright, ambitious, and frustrated.  He doesn’t think the others on the group recognize his talents in research and writing, and furthermore he thinks the others in the group have made some mistakes that may cost the group time and perhaps prestige. 

Another of my clients, June, is a middle-aged woman who feels that she is not being acknowledged adequately in her place of work.  She works in a small company but finds that her talents are frequently ignored.  She call herself a potted plant—people look through her, never thinking of including her in any of the more interesting projects.

The 3rd person, Joy, is a thoughtful person, a good writer, and also very analytic. Her company is quite large, and the division where she works is fast-paced and demanding.  Joy recently was on sick leave, but before she took sick leave she was on the track for promotion.  Part of the reason that a promotion appeared to be in her future was because the supervisor appeared to be impressed with Joy’s work.  And Joy had a good attitude, worked hard, and made a point of being a team player, both in terms of  working well with her colleagues and also in working well with her supervisor.

When Joy took sick leave, the supervisor did not seem to realize that Joy would be out for some time and that Joy did not have a choice.  When Joy returned to the office, it appeared that the supervisor begrudged Joy the time away and was going to make her pay for being out of the office.  Joy was bowled over at the unfairness of the unexpected turn of events. 

All three people seem dismayed, but only two are disgruntled- Jim and June.  Both Jim and June seem to think that they are entitled to a higher position by virtue of their being bright.  However, neither has used their intuition or social intelligence to improve communication or to show what they could add to the group.  Both may be low person on the totem pole in their particular group, but they could make things more equal by stepping out of their isolation to communicate more, to contribute more, and to recognize the gifts of others in their group.

Joy, on the other hand, has been dealt a raw deal.  She has choices, but it appears that her supervisor is holding a grudge and Joy may be right not to trust her.  If Joy has other reasons for staying in her current position and if she can work hard and well and avoid becoming disgruntled, she may eventually win the supervisor over.  Or the supervisor may move or be removed.  Joy seems to have the strength of character to work through the difficult situation. 

What has been striking to me is that the person whose situation is truly unfair seems to be bravely rising to the occasion.  She has grace as well as courage.  She continues to look for ways to contribute to the group and does not gossip about the unfair situation she found upon returning from sick leave.

Joy needs my support, but Jim and June need to be challenged. 

I am challenging Jim and June to make small steps toward assuming more responsibility for their situations. 

Until they emerge from entitlement and do whatever needs to be done, they will remain unhappy and unfulfilled.

I have faith… Potted Plans can bloom.

If you would like to share your story with me, I’d love to hear from you..

Also, please visit my website and, for a bonus, sign up for my fr*ee e-newsletter, Smart Tips.

Before You Give a Presentation, Do You Have This Critical Piece of Information about Your Audience?

As you prepare a presentation, there are several elements that are critical to your success. 

•  Your presentation must be strong on content.
•  You need to establish yourself as someone with expertise in this area.
•  You must engage your audience.

And how do you engage your audience?  You have to know something absolutely critical about your audience. Your presentation will be a hit only if you know the answer to this question:

•  What is the pain factor of your audience?

To get to the pain factor, you start with being very clear about your audience:

•  Why would they be listening to you in the first place? 
•  Are they a captive audience? 
•  Did they come to hear the person scheduled before you and may have hung around to listen to you?
•  Or, joy of joy, did they choose you? 

That’s what you want, right? 

•  So how will they find you? 
•  What title will bring them to sit in front of you for 45 minutes?

To pull in an audience and to hold their interest, you have to give your audience something that they absolutely need.   

•  What do you have in common with your audience? 
•  If you have been at the same point where your audience is now, what is it that you know is true for              them? 
•  What do they know?
•  And what is missing for them? 
•  What pain or problem do they have? 

What do you know that will solve that problem for them? 

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not suggesting that you be sappy or corny or that you make a  heart-rending appeal.

Consider how you might teach a class of undergraduates or middle-schoolers.  If you don’t want them falling asleep and falling off their chairs, or worse yet, throwing their chairs, you have to convince them that there is something in the lesson for them.  And humor can definitely be your friend.

The same is true for presenting to your peers.  They will want to know “What is in this for me?” 

To re-cap:
•  Your presentation to be effective must be audience-based.
•  To be a hit, you have to know the pain factor of your audience.
•  Address the need. 
•  And do it with confidence.

If you are preparing for a presentation, I’d love to hear from you.  What is the challenge you’re facing?

I have something that will be of help.  Go to www.nwcoaching.com and get a free sign-up bonus when you subscribe to my Smart Tips for Writers e-newsletter.

Until next time,
Nancy
www.nwcoaching.com